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*****

It's true; I don't know many people who are satisfied with the list of zombie flicks, especially those released over at least the last two years. Zombie-oriented films seem to have lost the ability to retain an interesting plot, although they are sometimes fortunate enough to make up for that impotence in gore and cheap screams.

Flight of the Living Dead: Outbreak on a Plane, formerly titled "Plane Dead," (2007) is a movie about zombies - who could have guessed it? The twist, though, is that they're on a commercial airplane, and there's nowhere to go but down.

I'm not even going to describe the characters specifically because they're pretty much the same as any other zombie/horror film, but I'll generalize: the hero, played by David Chisum; the girl, played by Kristen Kerr; the bad guy, played by Erick Avari (The Mummy); the bad-guy-who-makes-you-laugh-and-then-it-turns-out-he-isn't-really-so-bad-because-he-helps-you-not-die, played by Kevin J. O'Connor ("Benny" from The Mummy); and the creepy-yet-intelligent undercover agent, played by Richard Tyson. Of course, the movie also includes the novelty horror movie characters - the teenage lovers, the doctors and scientists, the children, the sinners, and even a nun.

A commercial flight takes off with all of its passengers, as well as a special cargo - so special that it has to be guarded by a nervous man in a biochemical containment suit weilding a machine gun. That cargo turns out to be one of the scientists' wife, who was exposed to a dangerous chemical that would reanimate her lifeless body, should her life be lost. The guard is there to make sure that she does not wake up from her slumber during flight, and he is successful until the plane is forced to fly through an intense storm that causes quite a ruckus on board. Bags fly out of their carry-on compartments; passengers rock back and forth in their seats; the cargo is throttled from side to side until, of course, the woman's holding tank is opened and she is awakened. It isn't until the guard shoots her, however, that she becomes a real problem, and since he is incapicitated by a large box that fell and, obviously, broke his leg, all he can do is shoot her and hope she stays down (which she doesn't).

He dies, obviously.

The scientists call down to check on their cargo, but when they get no word back from the guard, they are forced to investigate for themselves. With two zombies now roaming the holding deck, you can imagine what happens next... and thus, the undead and all the mayhem they bring are unleashed upon the plane's unsuspecting passengers. While everyone dies pretty gruesomely, four of the five main characters survive the flight and its subsequent downfall (The bad guy dies because, well, he was bad, and bad people die.).

Although the storyline was pathetic and expected, I found myself hiding behind my hands during certain scenes. This is not because the movie itself brought me unease, but because I am scared of faces - not normal faces, those are just weird - and they are abundant in this film. The flesh is torn away from the skin; the eyes are bulging, yellow and red; the ears are hanging off their heads, and I'm sure that's not where they belong. The worst face for me was the main bad guy's face; at the end, when he gets his "just desserts," his face is slashed much like that of Elizabeth Short (WARNING! the preceding image of the "Black Dahlia" is extremely graphic and I recommend you do NOT click the link unless you have a strong stomach and are not easily prone to nightmares.) and you can see his teeth, making it look like he's always smiling, just waiting to bite your face off. One thing that made the movie worthwhile, however, was that an Asian passenger strapped himself in his seat too tightly and couldn't figure out how to undo the seat belt on time, so he was torn-up by one of the flight attendants and flushed out into the sky by the force of the decompression after the side of the plane was hit by a missile. Good stuff.

Overall, Flight of the Living Dead was... eh. Watch it if you're bored, or just a zombie-lover, as I am.

The following is not a trailer for the movie, only a clip. It's the scene where the nun... well, just watch it.