Monday, November 26, 2007
The "Wet Blanket" Wicker Man
That's right - The Wicker Man was boring as hell, and that's putting it nicely. But what else can we expect from a Nicolas Cage movie succeeding his role in the first National Treasure installment? (If you couldn't tell, it is my opinion that every movie he has starred in since then has pretty much been a "flusher," meaning they were all absolute crap.)
The Wicker Man (version 2006), starring Nicolas Cage, Ellen Burstyn and Leelee Sobieski, is a remake of The Wicker Man (version 1973), which starred Edward Woodward, Christopher Lee and Britt Ekland. Cage plays a police officer who is requested by an ex-girlfriend named Willow (Kate Beahan) to come to the secretive island known as Summersisle, where she lives in a colony of nature worshippers, to find her missing daughter. When he arrives, however, the other members of the colony deny the missing girl's existence, sending Cage down a spiral of misleading clues and set-ups that will ultimately lead to his demise.
I had very high expectations of this movie, none of which were met. The story was stupid and one I have heard before; the lead actor was seemingly disinterested and just overall bad; and the ending was ridiculous and completely expected. I figured this film had come before Cage's downfall, but it actually seems like The Wicker Man marked the subsequent death of his previously-impressive acting resume.
Don't rent it. Don't On-Demand it. Don't download it. Don't watch it.
Boo, Nicolas Cage. Boo.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
"Lady in the Water"
So I'm going to attempt to make a videocast pretty regularly, meaning either every week, every other week, or monthly, if I get that behind... I'll give a brief synopsis of one movie each time, along with critic reviews and my opinion.
This is my first installment - enjoy, and please let me know what you think!
Thursday, November 15, 2007
The return of what? Not a thriller...
Sarah Michelle Gellar plays Joanna Mills, a traveling saleswoman who devotes her life to the business, in the 2006 psychological thriller The Return.
On a sales trip to Marlin, Texis, Joanna finds herself experiencing recurring fainting spells, during which time she has visions of a murder that occurred when she was only 11 years old. She awakens from these spells in random places with cuts on her arms and legs that were self-inflicted with a switchblade she keeps in her pocket. Joanna is set on uncovering the origin of her frightening visions, which are proving to be more accurate with each spell. Her determination leads her down a path of discovery, passion and murder; but losing her identity may be the scariest part of all.
Overall, the movie was interesting... at best. I didn't jump as much as I had expected (or hoped) to. There were no scary faces, no completely unexpected moments. The film had its plot twists, but not so unpredictable were they, nor was the ending. If there's anything good at all to be said about this movie, it's that Sam Shepard is the best - he plays the best father role, not only in this movie but also in The Notebook. I wish he were my dad (But, who wouldn't love that?).
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
ERADICATION. STERILIZATION. RE-POPULATION. RE-INFECTION.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Alec Baldwin is a failure, but you already knew that
In his time, Peter Boyle could have made any movie worthwhile.
Alec Baldwin, on the other hand, only makes me wish I had the last 108 minutes of my life back.
Based on the 1930s comic strip, The Shadow is a movie about a man who uses his ability to become invisible and to "cloud men's minds" with the power of telekinesis. He fights his arch-nemesis, Shiwan Khan, played by John Lone, in order to stop him from holding the world ransom with an atomic bomb. Tim Curry plays a supporting role as Farley Claymore, the conniving evil sidekick - a character he plays so very well. Penelope Ann Miller plays Margo Lane, the damsel in distress who is able to help save The Shadow in the end, and Peter Boyle plays The Shadow's sarcastic cabby.
This movie is ridiculous - I'm not even sure that this fully deserves a review, but you can decide for yourselves. Go watch The Shadow for shits-and-giggles. It's only worth about the $4 you'll spend on the rental.